Rabbi Gavriel and the Board wish you a Shabbat Shalom ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏
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Speak Up or Stay Silent? 5 Reasons to Confront Prejudice
Surprising research shows the many benefits of confrontingPosted November 21, 2013 What do you do when you see prejudice in your daily life? Perhaps a friend uses an offensive word, a co-worker implies that people from some groups are just naturally better than others, or a family member expresses anger or fear toward another person because of the color of their skin or the way they talk. For most of us, such acts of prejudice make us feel bad because they violate our core values—we strive to treat people in fair, equal, and unbiased ways and we get angry, upset, and frustrated when others don't follow this code of conduct. But, what do you do when you see prejudice in your daily life? Inside, you might be reading your grandmother the riot act and rolling your eyes, but outside you act as if nothing is wrong. You don’t want to make waves at a holiday dinner. After he says “I’m not racist, but…[insert racist comment here]," you write-off your supervisor, thinking there he goes again. He doesn’t have a clue. You complain later to your spouse, but don’t say anything in the moment because you worry that it will come back to bite you come promotion time. Perhaps you’re just tired of always being the one who has to remind people that words can hurt, making people feel as if they don’t belong, disrespected, or invisible, so instead of speaking up, you stay silent. If you can relate to any of these scenarios, you are not alone. Research shows that most people believe they will stand up to prejudice—questioning the perpetrator, noting the problematic nature of the act, or exclaiming surprise. However, less than half confront when faced with an actual instance of prejudice (Swim & Hyers, 1999). Early research in this area suggested that there is good reason for the discrepancy between what people say they’ll do and what they actually do. It turns out that there are some costs to confronting. Most of them are interpersonal—confronters are not always viewed particularly positively. They are sometimes likened to complainers or trouble-makers and often regarded as mean, impolite, or aggressive (Kaiser & Miller, 2001; Swim & Hyers, 1999; Dodd, Giuliano, Boutell, & Moran, 2001). Yet, recent research reveals 5 surprising outcomes of confronting, suggesting that you are still better off doing something rather than nothing when it comes to prejudice. 1) It stops future instances of prejudice. Confronting is a very effective way to get people to stop behaving in discriminatory ways. For example, in a set of studies, Alex Czopp and his colleagues (2006) asked participants to complete a task designed to elicit stereotypic responding about African Americans. When participants relied on stereotypes, they were subsequently confronted by a research assistant from the study. Compared to people who were not confronted, those who were confronted were much less likely to make stereotypic associations in the future. These effects are not just limited to perpetrators. Research also shows that witnesses’ reduce their prejudice following confrontations (Rasinski & Czopp, 2010). 2) It makes you feel better. Confronting also increases the psychological well-being of those who are brave enough to face prejudice. Confronters tend to feel less angry and less regretful (Hyers, 2007). Rather than ruminating on what they should have done after the fact, confronters experience more closure. People who challenge prejudice also feel more competent, have better self-esteem, and are more empowered relative to people who do not (Gervais, Hillard, & Vescio, 2010). 3) It makes you a better person. Not only does it make you feel better, but confronting actually makes you a better person over time. People who fail to confront, however, tend to be more prejudiced themselves over the long term (Rasinski, Geers, & Czopp, 2013). When people act in ways that are discrepant from their beliefs—for example, saying nothing in response to sexism even though practicing gender fairness is important to them—they feel cognitive dissonance—the uncomfortable feeling we get when we act hypocritically. When people experience cognitive dissonance, they often change their beliefs rather than their behaviors. As a result, when people fail to confront prejudice, they convince themselves that their values match their actions, and thereby their commitment to confronting prejudice in the future is reduced. 4) It’s easier than you think. Although images of conflict, opposition, and defiance may come to mind when you think about confronting prejudice, it turns out that people can confront in friendly ways that allow others to “save face.” For example, you might make a joke conveying the problematic nature of the action or give the person an out, indicating that you’re sure they didn’t mean it in a prejudiced way, but some people might perceive the action as problematic. Although these types of friendly confrontations may seem like a cop out, it turns out that they are just as effective as more hostile confrontations (Czopp et al., 2006).
The author is Sarah J. Gervais Ph.D., who is an Assistant Professor in Social and Law Psychology and the director of the Power and Subtle Prejudice Lab at the University of Nebraska at Lincoln.
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Shabbat Starts / Ends Friday, 9 August, Light Candles by 5:22pm, Shabbat 10 August, Shabbat ends 6:21pm
This Shabbat the Parashat is DEVARIM. (See Synopsis below)
SERVICES: Fri, 9 August, Mincha 5:25pm Shabbat, 10 August, Shacharit 9:15am followed by a kiddush sponsored by Ilona Fischer in memory of her father Imre Fisher z"l. Sun, 11 August, Shacharit 8:00am Sun, 11 August, Mincha 5:30pm Mon, 12 August Shacharit 6:45am
Tisha B'Av: Monday, 12 August, fast begins 5:42pm Tuesday, 13 August, fast ends 6:11pm Mon 12 August, Erev Tisha B'Av, Maariv 6:15pm, followed by feature film: 7:00pm, FINDING MASHIACH - an emotional search for the Jewish Messiah by Berel Solomon Tue, 13 August, Shacharit 8:00am Tue, 13 August, Mincha 5:15pm followed by Shiur from Rabbi Gavriel - Why was the Temple destroyed?. How should we live our lives?.
Wed, 14 August - Fri, 16 August, Shacharit 6:45am Wed, 14 August - Thurs, 15 August, Mincha 5:30pm
Please help in supporting our daily Minyan whenever you're available. This helps ensure that our members can say Kaddish for their loved ones and for those that are not able to attend in person. |
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Please keep us in the loop by notifying us of your lifecycle events.
Happy- Jewish - Birthday! We wish a very Happy Jewish Birthday to Zac Lipson, Isaac Balbin, Max Curtis, Sandy Sable, Amanda Lux-Haber, Peter Unger, Stella Kogan, Mirelle Chrapot, Michael Lasky, Magnus Ryhorchuk, Jake Lukav, Louis Chester, Tomer Gian, Nathan Sable, Alla Shpigel, Justin Bernhaut, Chazzan Ronny Kowadlo, Tahli Rockman, Benji Bassist. We wish them good health till 120. Jewish birthday Calculator.
Anniversary! Jade & Josh Zajonc, Elena & Braham Sacks, Luisa & Terry Gerler, Mandy & Stephen Zielinski. To many happy and healthy years together.
Condolences! We extend our heartfelt condolences on the passing of Shifra Kliman z"l to her daughters Michele, Aviva & son Len. We wish all their families blessings of comfort, healing, good health and long life.
Yahrtzeits! Shabbat Imre Fischer (Mordechai ben Moshe H'Cohen) - father of Ilona Fischer Rachmil Tuszynski (Yerechamiel ben Yitzhak) - father if Ian
Sunday Marian Joseph (Miriam Kunah bat Reuven) - mother of Sharon Unger Haia Weinstein (Chaya bat Yeshayahu) - mother of Rene Van Zuiden Sean Rockman (Sender ben Dov) - husband of Pauline Rockman OAM, brother of John Rockman Moshe Felman (Moshe Leib ben Efraim Fishl) - father of Dr Jack Felman Rachel Kucharski (Rochel Malka bat Binyamin H'Cohen) - mother of Michael
Monday Kate Phillips (Chaya bat Aaron) - mother of Freda Zielinski Gitel Fisher (Gitel bat Avraham) - grandmother of Sue Fisher & Vann Fisher
Tuesday Yehuda Hupert (Yehuda ben Simcha) - Anne Grynberg & Sam Hupert Eugene Kirsh (Zelig Getzl ben Yona) - father of Flora Mehl
Wednesday Bianca Aubor (Karen bat Levi) - daughter of Levi Aubor
Thursday
Friday Eva Erdi (Rochel Leah bat Yosef) - grandmother of Gavin Dunhill Margret Goldman (Masha bat Ze'ev) - mother of Daryll Goldman Abram Ostrobuski (Avram ben Shmuel) - father of Malka Lawrence Marcel Kaye (Moshe Yitzchak ben Efraim H'Levi) - father of Alan & Peggy
We wish the respective families blessings of long life and good health.
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Please continue to keep all the remaining hostages and the IDF members in your thoughts and prayers.
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Prayer for healing - Refuah Shlema - (רפואה שלמה)
For all those that are in need of a Refuah Shlema (רפואה שלמה) - may they be granted a complete and speedy recovery. Please let us know of anyone that you feel should be included in our weekly prayers. (Please provide their Hebrew name and their mothers Hebrew name.).
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Devarim in a NutshellDeuteronomy 1:1–3:22The name of the Parshah, "Devarim," means "the words" and it is found in Deuteronomy 1:1. On the first of Shevat (thirty-seven days before his passing), Moses begins his repetition of the Torah to the assembled children of Israel, reviewing the events that occurred and the laws that were given in the course of their forty-year journey from Egypt to Sinai to the Promised Land, rebuking the people for their failings and iniquities, and enjoining them to keep the Torah and observe its commandments in the land that G‑d is giving them as an eternal heritage, into which they shall cross after his death. Moses recalls his appointment of judges and magistrates to ease his burden of meting out justice to the people and teaching them the word of G‑d; the journey from Sinai through the great and fearsome desert; the sending of the spies and the people’s subsequent spurning of the Promised Land, so that G‑d decreed that the entire generation of the Exodus would die out in the desert. “Also against me,” says Moses, “was G‑d angry for your sake, saying: You, too, shall not go in there.” Moses also recounts some more recent events: the refusal of the nations of Moab and Ammon to allow the Israelites to pass through their countries; the wars against the Emorite kings Sichon and Og, and the settlement of their lands by the tribes of Reuben and Gad and part of the tribe of Manasseh; and Moses’ message to his successor, Joshua, who will take the people into the Land and lead them in the battles for its conquest: “Fear them not, for the L‑rd your G‑d, He shall fight for you.” © Copyright, all rights reserved. If you enjoyed this article, we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with Chabad.org's copyright policy.
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Community Noticeboard !
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ECAJ: 15th August The Fight Against Antisemitism
Join us for an evening with Special Envoy to Combat Antisemitism Jillian Segal AO and author Alex Ryvchin discussing the generational battle for the Jewish people and officially launching his book The Seven Deadly Myths in Melbourne.
Opening remarks by Philip Zajac and closing remarks by Daniel Aghion KC.
Location - The Caulfield location will be sent to registered attendees the day before the event. Submit a question for Jillian - Jillian Segal will be answering a selection of questions on the night. Attendees can submit a question on registration.
Book signing - Alex will be selling and signing copies of his book, The Seven Deadly Myths. All proceeds from book sales on the night will go to WIZO Lev Echad. Refreshments - Light refreshments will be served. Security - Attendees details will be passed on to CSG for vetting. By registering you are consenting to vetting by CSG.
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